Their experience is that family courts often swing totally one way or the other as child-custody battles usually end with one parent getting full control over the minor; the other parent is allowed only partial access during weekends or school holidays. The implementation of an access order is, however, another uphill battle as a non-custodial parent has to contend with the whims of the custodian parent.
One young father, a teacher, whose marital slowdown began with a divorce petition (withdrawn later), is now fighting for greater access of his only child living separately with his wife; she is refusing to come back but wants to be maintained. The visits in the designated childrens access room on the family court premises are sporadic but he is happy when the child is brought there.
Leaving her would be easy. I have every right to. The problem is that I can’t leave my kids. I don’t feel like they would be safe with her. She would probably bring her boyfriend over right away. I don’t want my kids seeing that. They would be scarred for life and just end up doing the same kind of thing when they get married themselves.
I’ve resigned myself to staying in the marriage for as long as I can. We don’t have any love between us. We don’t kiss, hold hands or say I love you. Sex has been off the table for about a year and a half now. Basically we just raise the kids. She has her life and I have mine. Is she still in an affair? Probably. Am I? No. I can’t do that because I still love my wife and I stick to my vows. That’s just how I was raised.
Earlier this year, before covid, I saw some messages on my wife’s phone that were inappropriate. Obviously Divorced Dad in nature from a guy. I got all of those old feelings back again and confronted her. She lost her mind. She called me every name in the book. She said I was going to take the kids away from her. She said I was going to put her back in the hospital. She just went crazy. I talked her down and convinced her to go to therapy with me. We went to one session. She said probably three words total and said she was never going back.